Well I'm almost done with my first semester at college and it has been such an adventure. Just like an adventure, there are ups and downs but I feel like I've learned a lot about myself and the world around me. I've just had a lot of thoughts about a lot of different things lately so this is me trying to make sense of them in some way. I'll start with college... I have pretty awesome roommates (especially considering all of the horror stories I've heard) and my classes are going well. One of the hardest parts, though, is probably how incredibly aware I am of all the different possibilities I have going forward. I feel lucky to have already found a career path that I'm excited about and dedicated to. It's just everything else that is making it hard to focus. This will be one of the only times in my life that I have complete freedom to do whatever I want. I just feel like I should take advantage of every opportunity and help as many people in as many different places as possible. I feel like I need to be doing every single thing in my power to prepare to apply for grad school. And even though those are all good things I'm learning that I just simply can't do everything. I can't save the world and I have to be ok with that. Another thing that I really didn't expect to be a challenge for me is the pressure to be in a relationship. In my head I know that my worth is in no way determined by whether or not I'm in a relationship but getting married is such a huge focus here at BYUI that sometimes it's easy to think, "It's been 3 months and I don't have a boyfriend... I should probably start panicking." I'm very proud of the fact that I understand my worth in a way that doesn't rely on a boy but BYUI is pretty good at making you feel like you're doing something wrong if you aren't in a relationship. I will say, though, that college has motivated me more than ever before. Like I said, I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have and I intend to do my best to do just that. I think part of that mindset is a result of my time in Kenya. I know now more than ever how incredibly fortunate I am. I can't even fathom the amount of wealth I have compared to other people around the world. Coming back home was much harder than I had anticipated. The first couple days I felt almost ashamed at my own privilege. Walking around my house I couldn't help but think what the kids at the orphanage would say if they saw where I lived. Simple things like the bookshelves made me think of how one book in Kenya costs as much as feeding a family for a week. Or the endless supply of clean water at our fingertips made me think about the brownish color of the drinking water from the orphanage where I volunteered. You always say that you're grateful for a roof over your head and food on your table but it's impossible to really understand until you see hundreds of people who spend their entire lives without even those basic things like a roof over their head or food on their tables. It is because of Kenya that I have learned to be grateful for every up and every down. I think of Mongela, the 14 year-old boy that I lived with, who cried when he heard songs about peace and love, who lived with a family other than his own because his parents didn't have enough money to feed him and his brothers, who confronted a grown man because he didn't give me 10 cents back in change, and who worked for hours to learn English and math so he could one day be a business man. Talking with him and his two younger brothers was the most humbling experience I've ever had. It is because of them that I want to work so hard. It is because of them that I want to experience everything life has to offer. My three little brothers in Kenya taught me what it means to sacrifice and work hard while continuing to find joy and show love. That is why I feel the need to do every single little thing possible to help save the world. Because three little boys from Kenya already saved mine.

So I thought it might be a good idea to do one of the classic get-to-know me posts by answering a list of questions. Hope you enjoy:)

1. Are you a morning or night person? Definitely a night person! I'll make popcorn at midnight but don't even think about waking me up before 9.
2. do you prefer, sweet or salty foods? Usually sweet.
3. Ninjas or pirates? Ninjas!
4. Ninjas vs pirates, discuss... I feel like ninjas have more honorable intentions.
5. Dogs or Cats? Is that even a question?!? Dogs! 
6. What was your favorite childhood television program? The Suit Life of Zack and Cody:)
7. Are you a collector of anything? I have over 200 bouncy balls
8. If you could be any animal, what would you be? A dolphin because they're super smart but also playful!
9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? I would love to be able to speak and understand any language.
10. What is usually your first thought when you wake up? I'm going back to bed.
11. What do you usually think about right before falling asleep? I think about so many different things! I can never get my brain to slow down.
12. What's your favorite color? Yellow
13. What's your favorite animal? Flamingo
14. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? IDK man
15. Do you believe in ghosts? At least not the kind that haunt people.
16. Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)? Not in any serious way.
17. If you were given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on? College and trips around the world.
18. Have any bad habits? I twirl my hair a lot and I crack my nuckles.
19. Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy? Maybe chewing nails...
20. List 3 of your best personality traits: Funny, Kind, Positive
21. List 3 of your worst personality traits: Push over, Sometimes Judgemental, Annoying
22. Have any celebrity crushes? Theo James, Robert Downey Jr.
23. List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: My inability to stand up for myself.
24. Any Pets? 2 dogs, a cat, a rabbit, a horse, a turtle, and 4 chickens.
25. What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Intelligence and kindness and super hot!
26. Whats your dream date? Go on a relatively easy hike up to a lookout with an amazing view and have a picnic.
27. What personality traits do you look for in a partner? Intelligence, kindness, loyal, goofy, hardworking.
28. What personality traits do you dislike in other people? Arrogance, stupidity, laziness, hypocritical behavoir.
29. Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years? I think 5 years from now would be a good time to get married.
30. Are you mostly a clean or messy person? Messy!
31. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? New York would be such a cool place to live!
32. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? Kenya, the Solomon Islands, or Madagascar.
33. List 5 goals on your life's to-do list: Get married, have kids, get a PhD in clinical psychology, and go to Kenya.
34. Name 1 regret you have: Not trying harder to get good grades freshman year of high school.
35. Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: Playing outside with my sisters.
36. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: I'll tell you when I get there.
37. What's your favorite song of the moment? Maybe 'How Far I'll Go" from Moana
38. What's your favorite song of all time? Don't make me choose!
39. What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night? Hang out with a small group of close friends.
40. What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon? Do puzzles... I know I'm a nerd:)
41. Have any hidden talents? I can play ukulele like nobody's business haha
42. You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal? Chic-fil-a and cheesecake.
43. What would be your dream job? Disney Princess by day, Child Psychologist by night.
44. Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love? Love. <3
45. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? have a full ride to the college of my choosing, to be a disney princess, and become internet famous!
46. Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? No. It's way more fun to be a girl!
47. Name 1 thing not many people know about you: I have a new blog:)
48. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? Piper or Sunny.
49. Do you believe in the afterlife? That is one big YES from this girl right here! #LDS.
50. What is your favorite kind of weather. Hot!!!

I have decided to start a blog... I'm not exactly sure why but I'm excited nonetheless. I'm warning you now that I have about a zillion thoughts go through my head every hour so I can't promise that I'll be brief. Get ready for a large dose of 17 year old confusion as I try to figure out life.